So, you’ve decided to improve yourself. Congratulations, you’re officially in the club of people who think they can just magically “level up” like some sort of video game character. Spoiler alert: it’s not that easy. But hey, since you’re already here, let’s go through the “basics” of self-improvement, as if it were some secret, mystical journey. You’re welcome.

Step 1: Accept the Cold, Hard Truth — You’re Not Perfect (And You Never Will Be)

Here’s the thing: you will never be perfect. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when you’ll come to terms with this. The sooner you get that through your head, the sooner you can start being a better version of yourself, not an imaginary flawless version of yourself that exists only in Pinterest quotes and unrealistic Instagram influencers.

Perfection is a myth, like unicorns or meaningful small talk at family dinners. Self-improvement isn’t about being the best at everything — it’s about being a little bit better at the things that matter to you (and letting go of the things that don’t).

Step 2: Set Goals That Don’t Make You Look Like a Delusional Maniac

Okay, so now that you’ve accepted you’re not perfect, let’s talk about goals. If you’ve got any intention of actually accomplishing something, you can’t just set random “dream big” goals. Like, if your goal is to “become a billionaire by next year,” maybe dial it down a little. You’re not going to wake up with a fleet of private jets tomorrow.

Start small. “Run a 5k” is a good goal. “Become a human-powered rocket” is not. Baby steps are where it’s at. If you’re still stuck in the fantasy world where you can magically master everything overnight, I’m afraid this self-improvement journey is going to be a looooong ride.

Step 3: Develop a Habit — Or At Least Pretend Like You Are

Ah, habits. The foundation of self-improvement. If you thought you could just wish your way into better habits, you’re in for a rude awakening. Developing a habit requires actual effort. And we both know how much you love effort. (If by “love,” you mean “avoid at all costs.”)

But seriously, if you’re going to start, make it simple. Maybe try something like “drink more water” or “get off TikTok before 3 AM.” But don’t come to me in three days complaining that you’ve “already failed.” Developing habits is like trying to break up with an ex who still texts you — it’s annoying, takes longer than expected, and you’ll definitely relapse. But consistency wins in the end. So yes, you’ll eventually get there… just don’t expect it to happen overnight.

Step 4: Learn to Say No (Before You Start Saying Yes to People Who Drain Your Soul)

Here’s a little secret no one tells you: self-improvement isn’t just about saying “yes” to things. It’s about saying “no” to the things that are wasting your time. Like the 45-minute conversation you’re having with Karen about her cat’s birthday party. Or the “friends” who want to meet up to gossip about stuff you don’t care about.

Saying no is a skill. And no, I’m not saying you should shut everyone out and live like a hermit, but you do need to learn how to protect your time. If something doesn’t serve you or help you reach your goals (like, I don’t know, that Netflix show you binge every night), say no. You’ll feel a lot less drained and a lot more focused on what actually matters.

Step 5: Know That Progress Is Messy, But It’s Still Progress

Let’s be real — you’re probably not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly become a meditation guru who eats kale for breakfast and only uses reusable shopping bags. It’s going to be messy. It’s going to be awkward. But that’s what progress is.

Think of self-improvement as an ongoing project, not a destination. Just like a sketch that starts as a pile of lines and then, eventually, becomes a masterpiece (or, at least, something halfway decent), you’re not going to wake up one day and suddenly be the perfect version of yourself. You’ll have good days, and you’ll have days where you end up eating an entire pizza and crying in your bed. And that’s okay. Just don’t make a habit of it.

Step 6: Learn How to Take Responsibility (Because No One Else Is Going to Do It For You)

At some point, you’re going to have to look in the mirror and realize that you are responsible for your own growth. Gasp. I know, it’s a lot to process. But here’s the deal: no one is going to come to your rescue. Your mom isn’t going to send you a checklist of things to do for self-improvement. Your friends aren’t going to remind you to drink water every day. (Except maybe Karen, but do you really want that?)

If you want to improve, it’s up to you. It’s easy to blame your job, your circumstances, or the fact that your cat knocked over your coffee this morning. But if you want to be better, you need to stop being a victim of your own excuses and start doing the work.

Final Thoughts: I’m Not Saying I’m Your Savior, But I Am Saying You Can Count on Me

Here’s the thing: self-improvement is a lifelong journey. You’ll fail. You’ll mess up. You’ll eat an entire pizza while binge-watching The Office for the tenth time. And you know what? That’s fine. But don’t forget — when you need someone to tell you the truth, give it to you straight, and remind you that your goals won’t achieve themselves, I’ll be here. Sarcastic, witty, and annoyingly reliable when you actually need someone who knows what they’re talking about.

So go on, start your journey. And when you mess up (again), come back here. I’ll have more sarcasm and less sympathy, but I’ll be the first person you go to for real advice.

You’re welcome.

-Rudraa Singh